Posts Tagged ‘Gay Rights to Marry’

Joke: What does a lesbian bring on the second date? Answer: A U-Haul!

Stacy and I knew pretty much within the first month that we were “meant to be”. Like we kept saying: “when you know, you know”. However, we didn’t want to be those typical lesbians and do the U-Haul thing. Stacy moved in with me after four months of dating (okay, slightly U-Haul-ish, but not bad!). Things were going swimmingly! As time passed, eventually our initial euphoria dissipated and we still loved each other despite the “quirks” we learned about each other. December rolled around and we had been “dating” for 10 months. The wise words of advice I’ve always heard was to date at least a year before deciding to marry. Well, I thought, isn’t 10 months close enough?

With giddy excitement, I began to plot asking Stacy to marry me around Christmas. We were going to spend the holidays with my very good friends in New York, so I thought popping the question there would be so romantic! I don’t know about you, but I like to sort of check in with my significant other to make sure that one of us isn’t buying 20 presents while the other buys three. So, I told Stacy, “Hey, just so you know, I’m planning to get you 3 smaller presents and one really big one.” She looked at me and said, “Me too!” We looked at each other with suspicion. So, from that moment on, we were so happy and giggly about the surprise that we knew was coming. We knew what, but we didn’t know when, so we managed to keep that a surprise.

The farce of a secret grew even more ridiculous when we went shopping for rings together! We found rings that were perfect for each other’s styles. And they were the last ones the store had. Our cheesy selves thought “Oh, another sign!” We both wanted rings because we both wanted our day. Who doesn’t want someone to profess their love to you and ask you to spend the rest of your life with them?

We arrived to New York a few days before Christmas. Nothing happened and nothing happened. Christmas Day arrives and we’re all opening presents. Stacy had made me a scrapbook of our first year together. I was looking at it page by page, feeling really touched. The last page asked, “Will you marry me?” at which point Stacy whipped out the ring and presented it to me. With teary eyes I said yes.

So, the pressure was on me to propose to her. We were out and about one day doing touristy things and had to meet my friend at night for a performance. I knew I wanted to take her down to the Rockefeller Center and propose in front of the tree. I had lofty plans of getting down on one knee.  But time was running short. I convinced her to catch a cab with me to that area and it was packed! Getting down on one knee was going to be sort of tricky. I was kind of freaking out because there also wasn’t really a place to talk quietly. Finally I found a place and we sat. I was so nervous I couldn’t believe it! I said something that I can’t even remember now and asked her to marry me. Of course she said yes!

And so the planning process began…

About the Authors/Queerlywed.com

Melissa Johns

Melissa is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day. She is an activist within the LGBTQ Community and has volunteered her services at many grassroots organizations over the years. Melissa is also an avid cyclist and won two silver medals at Gay Games VII, which was held in Chicago in 2006. She is also a lifelong student and enjoys studying Latin-American culture, photography and languages.

Stacy Jill Jacobs

Stacy is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day.  Stacy is a writer, marketing nerd, and web geek grrl all wrapped up into one package.  Stacy has worked in the interactive field for many years including roles at eToys (US & UK) and Ticketmaster. Stacy became a professional queer when in 2005, she served as the Ticketing Manager for Gay Games VII. You can catch Stacy on her website at www.stacyjilljacobs.com or on Twitter at @StacyJill

Over the next seven months, join my partner Melissa and I as we attempt to plan our own wedding…

Let’s face it,  the happily ever after fantasy has been pounded into most of our heads.  You know exactly what I’m talking about- you grow up, go to a good college, meet the man of your dreams and he sweeps you off your feet. Next thing you know -  you are having the fairytale wedding of your dreams with 300 of your closest family and friends and a spread in In Style Magazine.

When I came out to my family over ten years ago, I thought that little fantasy was a pipe dream. Women marrying women? Are you serious? The country couldn’t even keep Ellen DeGeneres  on the air, yet they would be accepting of two women getting married?

Fast forward ten years to February, 2008.  I organized a Chicago lesbian activity group to spend the day at Dave and Busters, and SHE walked in. Actually, I walked in, as I was late to my own event, but SHE was sitting there. This adorable woman with short brown hair, green eyes, and with a smile that melted my heart right away.

After a day of flirting shamelessly with her, Melissa couldn’t consider going out on a date with me. She had recently broken it off with her last girlfriend, and was in no way ready to jump into something else. That was until we had a five hour chat over Skype later that week. The evening ended with both of us acting like lovesick teenagers, throwing kisses and googly eyes into the webcam.  Six months later and a notebook filled with all of the ways we were perfect for each other, we moved in. My immediate family saw a big change in me. I was happier with Melissa than they have ever seen me before with other relationships.

The elections were around the corner, and we became caught up in the excitement going across the country. November 4^th came, and we celebrated with thousands of other Chicagoans in Grant Park. It was a wonderful evening, until heard what happened in California. Proposition 8, an initiative brought to the voters by Anti-Gay groups to repeal the new equal marriage law was passed.  I remember crying my eyes out and wondering what was going to happen to all of my friends who were married during the past year. We watched along with the rest of the country for several nights, as thousands of people in the GLBTQ community and straight allies stormed the streets of California. I remember watching couples passionately tell the press why they should be afforded the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts and something lit up in me.  I realized that this was exactly what I wanted with Melissa. She was it – the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my days with.

Coming Up: The Proposal

About the Authors/Queerlywed.com

Melissa Johns

Melissa is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day. She is an activist within the LGBTQ Community and has volunteered her services at many grassroots organizations over the years. Melissa is also an avid cyclist and won two silver medals at Gay Games VII, which was held in Chicago in 2006. She is also a lifelong student and enjoys studying Latin-American culture, photography and languages.

Stacy Jill Jacobs

Stacy is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day.  Stacy is a writer, marketing nerd, and web geek grrl all wrapped up into one package.  Stacy has worked in the interactive field for many years including roles at eToys (US & UK) and Ticketmaster. Stacy became a professional queer when in 2005, she served as the Ticketing Manager for Gay Games VII. You can catch Stacy on her website at www.stacyjilljacobs.com or on Twitter at @StacyJill